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patience

February 5, 2021

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Pursuing the Beautiful, was launched as a creative space to share about clean beauty, natural lifestyle and motherhood in a way that inspires others to find the beauty in their own lives. I'm pursuing the beautiful, and I'm so glad that you are joining me on this journey...

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We have had some rough nights at our house. My fou

We have had some rough nights at our house. My four year old daughter has been experiencing night terrors and the constant sleep disruption has been wearing…not just for her, but for me as well. And she and I have been fighting each other because sleepless nights make for tired days.

I’ve been cherishing The Valley of Vision for these mornings. This collection of Puritan prayers is timeless, because when I don’t have the words, I murmur the prayers that have gone before me.

“Halo my path with gentleness and love, smooth every asperity of temper…may I strive to bind up every wound.”

Where my soul feels jagged, surround me. When my responses feel hot and harsh, bring me to balance. These prayers have given me the language to ask for what I need in those moments of motherhood overwhelm. And perhaps it might give you the words you need for this Monday too.

Spring has been long in coming...not just in Color

Spring has been long in coming...not just in Colorado, but for my soul. There is so much joy that comes with having a rainbow baby (after two consecutive miscarriages), that I just assumed that I would bounce back quickly and be able to throw myself fully back into life, creativity, and writing again.

But I had underestimated how arduous that winter was. Because after a journey of loss and pain that spans a couple of years, the soul needs time to come alive again. Spring for the soul also has its own fits and starts...there are signs of life and then a blizzard comes through. And shifting the heavy wet soil of our heart to make room for new things is hard work too.

Perhaps this is you as well...navigating out of your dark night of the soul. Let me encourage you...the green shoots of life will become more frequent and the wintery squalls of pain will lessen. Spring might feel long in coming, but it is coming.

It’s been one month of consistently working out!

It’s been one month of consistently working out! 🎉🎉 I am 9 months postpartum and I finally felt like my body was ready to move! But my biggest fear was that exercise would cut into the little margin that I had left and might leave me more depleted. Or maybe it would fill my cup.

So, I challenged myself to try it out for a month to see what happened. And it has been incredible. I am more refreshed and a better mama when I have been able to slip away and do my workout.

Establishing life-giving rhythms is hard work! Because there are days when I don’t want to put in the effort. And it feels counterintuitive that I have to be disciplined and intentional about it. But it has been worth it!

What self care rhythm are you leaning into these days?

I try to observe Lent...I’m not Catholic, but I

I try to observe Lent...I’m not Catholic, but I do have a love for the rhythms of the church calendar. But, honestly, fasts are hard during motherhood.

As a mother, I’m already living sacrificially. Motherhood is an ongoing sanctification process and most of the time, I feel hollowed out. I have already been living in decrease and the thought of giving up “one more thing” just made me cringe.

But this Lent, I have been pondering this. Have I been giving up the right thing? Often we look at what behavior we can change instead of seeing it as a heart examination.

Thinking it will fortify my soul, I often reach for sarcasm or pride without realizing that they will just leave me brittle. I rely on distraction only to find out that it does not fill my cup. I commune with other things in the name of self care thinking that it will satisfy my spirit.

Living sacrificially and feeling hollowed out is a part of motherhood. But only God can fortify and fill. The purpose of fasting is to create the shift in our heart to remind us that we cannot fill our own emptiness.

The full post is on my website! Link in the bio.

We have been having a serious case of the Monday’s today. Trouble with our car has us stranded at home! But, in spite of all the anticipation that comes with vehicle repairs and everything that is out of our control, we started our day off with thanksgiving...because “this is the day that He has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it!” And then Caroline went around the house singing the song (remember the song?!?). Anyway...be blessed today, friends...may thanksgiving be the catalyst that turns our hard days around!

Hello favorite people!! It has been a minute, so I

Hello favorite people!! It has been a minute, so I thought I would do a little introduction and tell you a bit about myself!

🍃 I live in Denver with my husband and our two children, Caroline and Alexander. I worked for the US Air Force for over a decade and travelled all over the world, until I decided to be a stay at home mom.

❤️ I love history, makeup/skincare, Wendy’s frostys, Victorian literature, the Hills reaction videos, dry British humor, cheeseburgers, and classical music.

🌺 I started sharing my life on IG as a part of a fun creative outlet, but I ended up writing a lot about my journey with recurrent miscarriage, delayed fertility and grief. Heavy stuff. Lately, I’m in a new season and I’ve been drinking in the sweetness of it all!

🌸 I’m just so glad that you are here...say hi in the comments so we can connect!!!

I see you mama...with the dishes piling high, the

I see you mama...with the dishes piling high, the next mess to clean up, and the little ones underfoot. But these demands of motherhood are a sacred work. Because hidden in the mundane and repetitive tasks of home life is the commission to steward souls and cultivate culture. So, lift up your head dear one and don’t trivialize the work of your hands. You aren’t just wiping noses or reading yet another story. You are passing down the faith to the next generation and that is weighty work indeed.

It is winter and I live in Colorado...bless my poo

It is winter and I live in Colorado...bless my poor skin (esp my hands!). This year has been particularly bad, so I reached for my usual bag of tricks and extended my robust skincare routine to my hands, used serums on my hands, and I have added facial oils to my hand creams. Nothing worked...and I watched my cracked and bleeding hands dramatically slip beyond the point of redemption. Was I forever doomed to have wrinkly old lady hands? Say it isn’t so!!! Thankfully, I had a chance encounter with something called tallow and it has changed the game. Tallow is rendered beef fat which contains high levels of vitamin A, D, K, and E which are all essential players in skin health. But tallow is also closer to our own cellular make up, so it is more compatible and healing to our skin. I still love my bag of tricks for keeping skin youthful, but sometimes you need a product to bring your skin back from the brink and tallow was that silver bullet for me! My review is in the bio!

I’ve been having some hard days (weeks!) with ou

I’ve been having some hard days (weeks!) with our daughter waking up every night, and in turn, waking me up every night. I’m tired and I’m feeling pulled in multiple directions. I need to be available for my family, I need time to recharge myself, I need to keep up with the house, and I need to work on my business.

And I woke up one morning after a particularly bad night and I just stared at my coffee...I mean, what do you pray when the overwhelm is so much and you just want to run away?

After some deep exhaling, I found my heart whispering this...

Breathe life into the work of my hands...may the loads of laundry, the dishes, and the vacuuming establish this house as a place of rest.

Animate my weary soul...in spite of all my tiredness, reawaken me to the joy of my sweet children.

Increase my margin...as I pour out what little I have for my family, may it multiply and may it be a blessing.

The whole story behind my prayer is on the blog...link in bio!

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We have had some rough nights at our house. My fou

We have had some rough nights at our house. My four year old daughter has been experiencing night terrors and the constant sleep disruption has been wearing…not just for her, but for me as well. And she and I have been fighting each other because sleepless nights make for tired days.

I’ve been cherishing The Valley of Vision for these mornings. This collection of Puritan prayers is timeless, because when I don’t have the words, I murmur the prayers that have gone before me.

“Halo my path with gentleness and love, smooth every asperity of temper…may I strive to bind up every wound.”

Where my soul feels jagged, surround me. When my responses feel hot and harsh, bring me to balance. These prayers have given me the language to ask for what I need in those moments of motherhood overwhelm. And perhaps it might give you the words you need for this Monday too.

Spring has been long in coming...not just in Color

Spring has been long in coming...not just in Colorado, but for my soul. There is so much joy that comes with having a rainbow baby (after two consecutive miscarriages), that I just assumed that I would bounce back quickly and be able to throw myself fully back into life, creativity, and writing again.

But I had underestimated how arduous that winter was. Because after a journey of loss and pain that spans a couple of years, the soul needs time to come alive again. Spring for the soul also has its own fits and starts...there are signs of life and then a blizzard comes through. And shifting the heavy wet soil of our heart to make room for new things is hard work too.

Perhaps this is you as well...navigating out of your dark night of the soul. Let me encourage you...the green shoots of life will become more frequent and the wintery squalls of pain will lessen. Spring might feel long in coming, but it is coming.

It’s been one month of consistently working out!

It’s been one month of consistently working out! 🎉🎉 I am 9 months postpartum and I finally felt like my body was ready to move! But my biggest fear was that exercise would cut into the little margin that I had left and might leave me more depleted. Or maybe it would fill my cup.

So, I challenged myself to try it out for a month to see what happened. And it has been incredible. I am more refreshed and a better mama when I have been able to slip away and do my workout.

Establishing life-giving rhythms is hard work! Because there are days when I don’t want to put in the effort. And it feels counterintuitive that I have to be disciplined and intentional about it. But it has been worth it!

What self care rhythm are you leaning into these days?

I try to observe Lent...I’m not Catholic, but I

I try to observe Lent...I’m not Catholic, but I do have a love for the rhythms of the church calendar. But, honestly, fasts are hard during motherhood.

As a mother, I’m already living sacrificially. Motherhood is an ongoing sanctification process and most of the time, I feel hollowed out. I have already been living in decrease and the thought of giving up “one more thing” just made me cringe.

But this Lent, I have been pondering this. Have I been giving up the right thing? Often we look at what behavior we can change instead of seeing it as a heart examination.

Thinking it will fortify my soul, I often reach for sarcasm or pride without realizing that they will just leave me brittle. I rely on distraction only to find out that it does not fill my cup. I commune with other things in the name of self care thinking that it will satisfy my spirit.

Living sacrificially and feeling hollowed out is a part of motherhood. But only God can fortify and fill. The purpose of fasting is to create the shift in our heart to remind us that we cannot fill our own emptiness.

The full post is on my website! Link in the bio.

We have been having a serious case of the Monday’s today. Trouble with our car has us stranded at home! But, in spite of all the anticipation that comes with vehicle repairs and everything that is out of our control, we started our day off with thanksgiving...because “this is the day that He has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it!” And then Caroline went around the house singing the song (remember the song?!?). Anyway...be blessed today, friends...may thanksgiving be the catalyst that turns our hard days around!

Hello favorite people!! It has been a minute, so I

Hello favorite people!! It has been a minute, so I thought I would do a little introduction and tell you a bit about myself!

🍃 I live in Denver with my husband and our two children, Caroline and Alexander. I worked for the US Air Force for over a decade and travelled all over the world, until I decided to be a stay at home mom.

❤️ I love history, makeup/skincare, Wendy’s frostys, Victorian literature, the Hills reaction videos, dry British humor, cheeseburgers, and classical music.

🌺 I started sharing my life on IG as a part of a fun creative outlet, but I ended up writing a lot about my journey with recurrent miscarriage, delayed fertility and grief. Heavy stuff. Lately, I’m in a new season and I’ve been drinking in the sweetness of it all!

🌸 I’m just so glad that you are here...say hi in the comments so we can connect!!!

I see you mama...with the dishes piling high, the

I see you mama...with the dishes piling high, the next mess to clean up, and the little ones underfoot. But these demands of motherhood are a sacred work. Because hidden in the mundane and repetitive tasks of home life is the commission to steward souls and cultivate culture. So, lift up your head dear one and don’t trivialize the work of your hands. You aren’t just wiping noses or reading yet another story. You are passing down the faith to the next generation and that is weighty work indeed.

It is winter and I live in Colorado...bless my poo

It is winter and I live in Colorado...bless my poor skin (esp my hands!). This year has been particularly bad, so I reached for my usual bag of tricks and extended my robust skincare routine to my hands, used serums on my hands, and I have added facial oils to my hand creams. Nothing worked...and I watched my cracked and bleeding hands dramatically slip beyond the point of redemption. Was I forever doomed to have wrinkly old lady hands? Say it isn’t so!!! Thankfully, I had a chance encounter with something called tallow and it has changed the game. Tallow is rendered beef fat which contains high levels of vitamin A, D, K, and E which are all essential players in skin health. But tallow is also closer to our own cellular make up, so it is more compatible and healing to our skin. I still love my bag of tricks for keeping skin youthful, but sometimes you need a product to bring your skin back from the brink and tallow was that silver bullet for me! My review is in the bio!

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